Hello, I'm Lilliana

My take is that life's a journey of discovery, with the purpose of becoming more our true selves; to love and be loved and to use our talents to satisfy our needs and pursue our dreams. For this we need to keep growing our self-awareness and stretching our potential.  My work is all about relationship– our connection to ourselves, the relationship with our partner, and our relations with others.  I work with individuals and with couples to better understand emotions and behaviour, to work through difficult issues and to build healthier, happier and more resilient relationships.

Trained at the Australian College of Applied Psychology in Sydney and at Ashridge Business School in the UK, I am a member of the Association for Coaching, the British Association for Counselling and Pyschotherapy, and the BACP’s Coaching division. My professional development includes Systemic Constellations and I continually draw on the wisdom of many experts including John Gottman, Sue Johnson, David Ricco, Helen Fisher, James Hollis and Esther Perel. However the biggest influence has been Dr David Schnarch and his Crucible approach to working with couples. Over the past 10 years I've attended his trainings and practicums in Germany with a cohort of European couples therapists.

My personal story began in the UK in 1957, the second of five kids. When I was 13 my family moved to Jakarta, Indonesia where I spent my unconventional teenage years. As a young adult I made Sydney Australia home and worked in film and television. Personal development programmes featured throughout my life, both individually and later as a couple, after I married and had children. While I relished family life, the relationship wasn't easy. We had stuff to work out and sought help from several counsellors. The book Passionate Marriage by Dr David Schnarch changed at the way we both began to understand relationship. We worked through some challenging times and learnt valuable skills. Later we did end our marriage after nearly 20 years, and we managed the process of separating well. I count my ex-husband as a precious person beyond the relationship because of our kids. We were able process the loss, reflect and learn from our history and each of us found new love.  This journey was the catalyst for great personal change; I trained in counselling and it soon became clear that relationship therapy is what really engaged and inspired me. And I discovered I could learn from David Scharch.

Fifty years after I left England, In 2007 I returned to begin a new life with a new partner. Between us we have seven adult children and six grandchildren and counting, and with my two children and four siblings, the meaning of family has become very rich and geographically diverse, as we’re spread over many countries.

I am so grateful for the deeply satisfying, growthful relationship with my second husband and I feel passionately that my work is to share what I continue learn – to help others to love well.